Pro-Family? (6/21/05)

What does it mean to be pro-family? Is anybody out there really anti-family? More and more politicians, church and organization leaders, and even business people advertise themselves as pro-family, as if to imply that their competitors somehow lack moral values who don’t declare themselves pro-family. Then they avow that an important mainstay of “family values” is marriage between a man and a woman. So let’s take a better look at these “family values” people.

Traveling through the southeastern U.S. the past few months, I read various newspapers in so-called “red” states where “family values” are touted. The April 15 Nashville, Tennessee, City Paper, reported that state senator Jeff Miller, chief sponsor of Tennessee’s Marriage Protection Act, is facing divorce. Senator Miller, the Senate Republican Caucus Chairman, is having an affair with a legislative researcher. In fact, he took his lover and his three daughters to a concert in Nashville last November. His wife is suing for divorce, claiming “inappropriate marital conduct.” Senator Miller states that divorce is a difficult time and a “very private matter.” Miller describes his Marriage Protection Act as a way to preserve the sanctity of marriage because it prohibits gays from marrying. However, Miller opposed an amendment to his bill that stated “Adultery is deemed to be a threat to the institution of marriage and contrary to public policy in Tennessee.” Miller’s wife claims he has “played around for a long time.” And, Miller’s brother is gay. So I guess Miller’s family values mean that adultery is OK, but two gay people loving each other is wrong.

In Florida’s May 13 Palm Beach Post, columnist Frank Cerabino reported on some similar shenanigans. Seminole County Republican Party chairman Jim Stelling’s quest to become the state GOP chairman got derailed when it was revealed that he had been married numerous times. His opponent said Stelling had been married six times. Stelling sued for libel because he had been married only five times. He said, “I believe in family values.” Columnist Cerabino speculates that conservative Republicans who have been married five times still get to lord their family values over the rest of us, and that their personal sanctity-of-marriage boundaries aren’t breached until the sixth marriage. For example, in 1992, the Republican National Convention started a “Family Values Night” which began with a performance from five-times-married Lee Greenwood, who talked about “a future of strong families and communities.” Jim Harnsberger, founder of the San Diego Center for Family Values, was married five times and owed $18,000 in child support. Barbara DeAngelis, married five times, writes self-help books on relationships. Arizona State Senator Karen Johnson, staunch supporter of family values, has been married five times. She’s sponsoring legislation to prevent gay marriage and make it harder for heterosexual couples to divorce. Of course, there are Rush Limbaugh, a three-time marriage man and Newt Gingrich, also married three times, who had an affair with his legislative aide and didn’t pay child support for the children of his first marriage.

Cerabino adds that there’s a new Family Values specialty license plate in Florida that shows a man and a woman with two children. He adds that there probably wasn’t enough room on the plate to draw in all the ex-wives. But, I would add that these guys just demonstrate their pro-family attitude by creating as many families as they possibly can in their lifetimes.

- Judith Kohler

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